Beyond the ideas of right and wrong, there is a field. I will meet you there. — Rumi
Beyond common sense there is irrational screaming about a hole in one’s leggings when stuck at the top of the fence. I will walk away from you there. — Me
Actually, we have been using a written curriculum to do exercises related to being, and having, good friends: what Béla and Claudia remember about meeting their friends, how they think people view them upon first meeting them, how they view themselves, what they look for in friendships. Today’s exercise had been about approaching brand new people, what to do if it worked, and how to be okay with it if it didn’t. Béla got the exercise done before they met this girl (an unschooler), and Claudia got to do the written exercise later in the day. But it is interesting to see how much these written exercises have helped them take stock of what they value, what they have, what they want, and what they will not tolerate.
They have been having some really formative, active (as in, “not passive”), social experiences lately, and I can see how much control they are feeling they have gained. The pressure of “Well, who is it that we know?” when one begins homeschooling in the dead of winter has been replaced by “We have our choice of anyone we see, and we don’t have to go along with anything that feels wrong to us” these days, and it is really nice to see them feel that way. And their independence socially, and physically in the neighborhood, has just exploded. It’s wonderful, scary stuff.