day 142: pleasures deferred

This is the best photo we got of what we hoped would be a very visually rewarding kitchen experience from a kit I bought Béla.

Two tries did not go well; we have plenty of more tries in us. Just not today.

Also not today: Claudia had told me last night (with a lot of time-specific detail, in hindsight) that she had a Zoom call with her girlfriend in England today. But this morning, I realized she wasn’t “telling” me — she was telling me to wake her up for it. Um, no. This is your alarm clock, you use it successfully in many other situations, and you will in this one too. Unless you don’t (which she didn’t).

The two of them will not always, or even that often, defer a job to me rather than do it themselves. What they will do is decide “If Mom has not freaked out to the point of tears yet, it’s not really a sign we should stop what we’re doing.” Well, that’s changing too. We had a list of activities to do together last night, and they disappeared into their bedrooms in the late afternoon. Tuck and I ended up having a fine time, but Claudia was legitimately surprised to run into me getting ready for bed. She wanted to know when we were going to “get started”.

They were positively funereal. (And they still had to take showers and do the dishes.)

There were a lot of years they saw me performing mental and emotional labor and have it go unacknowledged. Those aren’t the kind of people they were born to be. And they have no respect for people who are. That’s something they’ve talked about a lot.

So they felt pretty bad that they’d just used the “wait till mom yells at us” approach to come down, because I do it less and less, and even though there’s no yelling and no ultimatum… the consequences feel worse. An opportunity slips through their fingers.

But if we’re lucky, it finds its way back for Take Two.


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