oh what a world

Claudia drew a map of her world.

When I asked why there were dimensional land masses over other land masses she said “They’re floating. That’s what I told you last time.”

I don’t remember a last time.

But the best thing I learned today was about the concept of the Unessay.

Here’s an example:

I’m obviously in love.

In other Life Skills news, we are focusing on f$&@?!$ life skills that RISE to the heights of the average twelve-year old, and I can’t even innumerate the reasons. One involves Béla’s misplacement of $120, which in a way breaks my heart because he saved it to buy us Christmas presents. But in a way confounds me because if he was saving it out of his allowance over a period of months… howwwww can he forget where he’s been regularly putting it? Why would he have moved it?

Also life skills-related, I guess: I do not have a calendar for teachable moments for my kids’ changing bodies. Claudia is incredibly matter-of-fact about her needs and when they have changed, she makes a formal transaction as Tucker heads for a CVS run. It’s all very economical of language. I will have to talk to her about birth control, because it’s my job, but I’m not sure either of us will get through it without just laughing and giving up. My worries about Claudia and pregnancy no longer make the top fifty. And I don’t think I even have fifty worries anymore at all. I think that’s one of the advantages of being fifty.

Self-defense… though I’m sure I will feel better when she’s back to jiujitsu, Claudia has clearly not only prioritized, but relishes the opportunity to deliver justice to anyone who even breathes on her arm hair. I think she’s mostly sorry she doesn’t get a sword to carry.

Béla’s body is not rampaging towards adulthood and so when I bring things up they are kind of abstract. Last night we watched a Korean crime drama in which homicide detectives were puzzling over a lack of perpetrator hair samples on assault/murder victims’ bodies. (It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…)

I said to B., “By the way — like when you noticed you could see the hair on your lip more — you’re going to get some hair on your testicles too.”

“Really?” he asked pleasantly.

The oldest member of BTS just got out of having to do his conscripted military service… maybe BTS needs to write a book on Adolescence for East Asian Boys. Maybe they already did.

If only Eugene would.

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