We’re being those people who pretend they love nature but really just love buying things from catalogs! Here we go off on our latest adventure! And don’t worry about watering our succulents for us — they’re really easy to overwater.

Marble is in love with this backpack.

She’s always been fond of hitching a ride, particularly with Béla.

Last night Tuck and I went to Target for the annual purchasing of Xmas pajamas for the kids, getting socks and underwear for their stockings, and getting wrapping paper and a bunch of impulse holiday items. Usually, on or near this trip as well, we buy a special (glittery, fuzzy, or otherwise festive) outfit for each kid to wear to Macy’s… but the Light Show and Dickens Village exist only in Claudia’s sketchbook right now.

And it was as though Target knew it, too. There were so few displays of sparkly or cozy holidaywear. They knew: nobody with sense was going anyplace.

It looks like the year I scored the Run DMC pj’s was the last year B and C were getting identical, matching sets. It took forever last night to find two sets (in the adult sections, no less) that didn’t “match”, but had similar color ways and themes. I ended up very happy with what I chose, but realized — it’s getting harder.

The socks and underwear almost had me in tears. I was having flashbacks to getting such items in my own stocking as a kid, and feeling very prescribed and unseen. And the bras. Not only had I not had the conversation with Claude that I needed to… she should have been initiating however much of this conversation she was comfortable with, with me.

I felt sad, clueless, and overheated in my mask. I ended getting them each a fifty dollar gift card and writing on it that Santa considered them old enough to buy their own under things. Claude’s about to be thirteen. She needs to be asking about, making these choices. They are part of the mental labor of self-care. Self-care is not all rose petals in your bath water.

We got wrapping paper and tags, and I remain delighted with the pajamas. The changes that come with having bigger kids are mystifying in what will suddenly choke you up. But I also felt free — free of one more decision to make, one fewer occasion where I’m treated like Siri or Alexa and bombarded with questions. So — time to learn about your undergarment options and preferences, my babies. It’s ultimately inconsequential and I suggest you don’t get into a conversation with Tucker about it.

Did you know Spike Lee made an adaptation of Lysistrata? We’ve known for a while. And we got about half of it watched tonight before bedtime. This is the kind of stuff I need room in my mind for! (And I was very surprised that Claude recognized and knew by name, Angela Bassett and Dave Chappelle.)